Detox For Your Life

Take a Trip to Graceland

As you are giving yourself grace, tell yourself that you are:

• Doing your best
• You are not your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes
• Tomorrow is a new day & as long as I am breathing, there’s always an opportunity to do something different, to grow, etc.

12 ways to give yourself grace:

1. Stop trying to be perfect – allow yourself to be human
2. Forgive yourself
3. Change your mindset stop the negative self-talk
4. Practice gratitude
5. Be kind to yourself
6. Let go of the past or whatever you’re holding on to
7. Show yourself compassion
8. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small
9. Show yourself compassion
10. Stop comparing your life to others.
11. Be okay with saying no and setting boundaries
12. Be okay with taking time for yourself

I want to encourage you to take a trip to Graceland by giving yourself the gift of grace. I am Nicole L. Turner, your Mindset Coach, helping you shift the way you think so you can change the way you live. If you are in need of a mindset coach, you can reach out to me at https://www.detoxforyourlife.com/

Stop Typecasting Yourself

 A few tips to help you stop typecasting yourself:

• Get back in touch with yourself. Get in touch with who you are and who you want to be. Is there a disconnect between who you are and who you desire to be? Highlight the parts of you that you really like/ really enjoy. Identify the areas you aren’t too fond of. Identify your strengths and weaknesses.
• Don’t be afraid to take risks. EXPAND yourself. I know growth is scary. In that risk-taking, you will develop or grow parts of you that you labeled as weaknesses or aren’t too fond of. On your “to do list” for the remaining months of this year, make two goals (I don’t want to overwhelm you so two is good for now), make two goals where you take a risk – do something different, try something different.
• Build/expand your network. As much as we love the people in our lives, sometimes it’s good to get to know other people, different types of people. It exposes you to different experiences, different ways of thinking, different ways of being. These are people who may be different from your normal circle – whether that’s a friendship circle, career circle, business circle, etc. Diversify your network. Cultivate relationships with people from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences.
• Keep learning. Keep learning about yourself. The beauty of life is that (hopefully) we grow and evolve and so do the things we like, we do, the type of people we want in our life, our boundaries, etc. Keep learning YOU. Keep learning about life.  Keep learning in general.
• Include a variety of experiences. This goes back to those two goals I mentioned earlier. Try something new.
• Be patient. Along the way of self-discovery and “untypecasting” yourself, be patient with yourself. Change can be messy, uncomfortable, frustrating, etc., be patient with yourself.

 Avoiding typecasting is a crucial part of life. Stop typecasting yourself. Stop applying for the same type of jobs. Stop limiting your experiences. Stop dating the same type of people. Stop having all the same type of friends. Stop always thinking the same way. Stop always doing the same habits over & over.

I’m Nicole L. Turner, your mindset coach, helping you shift the way you think so you can change the way you live. If you are in need of a mindset coach, you can reach out to me at DetoxForYourLife.com.

Choose Joy over Perfection

One of the things that robs us of joy is our desire to seek perfection/be perfect. We give gifts to other people, but how often do we give gifts to ourselves? One of the best gifts you can give yourself is the gift of joy. As I always say, you are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Do more of what brings you joy. 

The definition of joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. If you don’t already know, I want you to think about what gives you joy, what gives you a feeling of great pleasure. Then I want you to think about what’s preventing you from experiencing that. If you find that it’s your quest for perfection that’s preventing you from experiencing joy, choose joy over perfection.  

I’m Nicole L. Turner, your mindset coach, helping you shift the way you think so you can change the way you live. If you are in need of a mindset coach, you can reach out at detoxforyourlife.com

It’s Okay to Change Course

Whether you're considering a career shift, a new personal direction, etc., here are some tips to help you navigate the process:

• Self-Reflection: Before making any major changes, take time to reflect on your strengths, interests, values, and long-term goals. Understand what truly matters to you and what you want to achieve in your new direction.
• Set Clear Goals: Define specific and achievable goals for your new path. Having clear objectives will give you direction and motivation as you work towards your desired outcome.
• Research and Education: If your new course requires new skills or knowledge, invest time in researching and learning about the field. This could involve taking courses, attending workshops, or self-study.
• Networking: Build a network of contacts in your desired field. Connect with professionals, attend relevant events, and engage in online communities to gain insights and potential opportunities.
• Plan and Strategize: Create a detailed plan for your transition. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. Having a structured approach can make the process less overwhelming.
• Manage Risks: Understand that change involves uncertainty. Assess the risks associated with your new direction and develop contingency plans to address potential challenges.
• Seek Guidance: Don't hesitate to seek advice from mentors, career counselors, or individuals who have successfully made similar changes. Their insights can provide valuable perspective and guidance.
• Embrace Flexibility: Be open to adjustments along the way. Your initial plan might need modifications as you gather new information and experiences.
• Practice Patience: Changing course takes time. Progress may not be linear, and setbacks are normal. Stay patient and persistent in pursuing your goals.
• Stay Positive: Maintain a positive mindset. I’m talking about that toxic positivity. I recognize that it’s not humanly possible to be positive 100% of the time. What I am saying is this, focus on your strengths and the opportunities that lie ahead because it will help you overcome challenges and stay motivated.
• Embrace Failure as Learning: Not everything will go as planned. Instead of seeing failure as a roadblock, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Adapt and refine your approach based on the lessons you gain.
• Take Care of Yourself: Change can be stressful, so prioritize self-care. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, engage in activities you enjoy, and seek emotional support from friends and family.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This can boost your confidence and motivation as you progress.
• Stay Organized: Keep track of your tasks, deadlines, and progress. This helps you stay on top of your goals and prevents overwhelm.
• Visualize Success: Imagine yourself thriving in your new course of life. Visualizing success can reinforce your commitment and help you maintain focus.

Yes, change is a gradual process, and it may require taking calculated risks, but you can change course at any given time. If you are looking for a mindset coach, you can reach me at https://www.detoxforyourlife.com/

Give Yourself as Many Chances as You Need to Get it Right

On your journey to giving yourself as many chances as you need to get it right:

• Start by letting go of the past. We spend way too much time staying stuck in the past and it paralyzes us. Prevents us from moving forward. The past failures or the things that didn’t go our way or work out for us in the past still affords us an opportunity to grow.
• Figure out what you do want. Piggybacking on the last one, sometimes you spend way too much time in the past that you fail to take that as an opportunity to figure out what you do want. Decide what’s meaningful to you. What feeds your soul. What brings you joy. What you’re passionate about. What makes you feel like you are walking in your purpose. If you don’t take the time to figure out what you want, you will be like the hamster on the hamster wheel – just going in circles.
• Forget about what other people are going to thin Keep doing what feels right to you. Don’t worry about what other people may think. They do what’s best for them and you must do what’s best for you.
• Focus on doing and not just thinking about doing. You don’t want to suffer from paralysis by analysis, meaning you end up not doing anything because you spent all of your time thinking about doing.
• Employ positive thinking. Negating thinking creates negative results. The mind must believe it can do something before it is capable of actually doing it.
• Create a daily routine. Routines are more effective at producing better results. Routines also reduce overthinking and offer a sense of control.

Don’t quit just because you didn’t get it right the first time or the second time, give yourself as many chances as you need to get it right. I’m Nicole L. Turner, your mindset coach helping you shift the way you think, so you can change the way you live. If you are in need of a mindset coach, you can reach out to me at detoxforyourlife.com.

Now that I’ve seen you, I can’t unsee you

Possible reasons why people have difficulty seeing the change in someone else:

Familiarity bias: People often have preconceived notions or mental images of others based on past experiences and interactions. These preconceptions can create a cognitive bias that makes it difficult to perceive changes in someone's behavior or character.

Limited perspective: If someone has limited interactions or limited exposure to the person in question, they may not have enough information to notice significant changes. For example, if someone only sees a friend occasionally or hears about them through second-hand information, they may not be able to detect subtle or gradual changes.

Confirmation bias: People tend to seek out information that confirms their existing beliefs or expectations. If someone has a fixed perception of another person, they may unconsciously ignore or downplay evidence that contradicts their beliefs, making it difficult for them to see the changes that have occurred.

Emotional attachment: Strong emotional connections can cloud judgment and make it harder to recognize changes. When someone has a close relationship with another person, they may be more inclined to perceive them based on past memories or emotional associations rather than objectively evaluating their current behavior.

Lack of attention or awareness: People may not pay close attention to others or be aware of the subtle cues that indicate change. In a busy or distracted state, individuals may overlook behavioral shifts or fail to notice the differences that have occurred over time

Until you get clear on what you want, you will get something that kinda, sorta, almost but not quite meets it.

I read that the average person makes about 35,000 decisions a day. In life, in your career, in your relationships (friendships and romantic relationships), etc., if you don’t get clear on what you want, you will find yourself in a constant cycle of getting things that kinda, sorta, almost, but not quite meets it.

So how do you start getting clear on what you want? Take out a piece of paper and write the answer to these questions:

• What makes me happy? Make a list of the things that make you happy.
• What are my values and am I being true to them?
• What are my needs (e.g., financial, emotional, physical, etc,)?
• What would I do if there were no limits?
• What do I want my life to look like 3, 5, 10 years from now?
• What does a good life look like for me?
• What are my greatest accomplishments thus far?
• What are the things I do want in my life?
• What are the things I don’t want in my life?
• Who do I admire or get jealous of?
• What gives me purpose? What give my life meaning?
• For my intimate relationship, what does my ideal relationship look like?
• For my finances, what amount of money do I need to enhance the quality of my life?
• For my health, what does it mean for me to be healthy? How do I want to look and feel?
• What are the things/activities I do that put me in a flow state? 

 

Don’t Let Other People’s Frustration Become Your Frustration

If you find yourself taking on other people’s frustrations, first ask yourself, “Why am I frustrated by this”? Is this person known to overreact? In the past, when their frustrations became my frustrations, was their validity to the frustration (meaning was there a valid reason for you to be frustrated)?

It’s important to set emotional boundaries: stop taking on other people’s feelings. This can be a challenge for those of us who are an empath. In addition to setting emotional boundaries, ask yourself if what you are feeling, is that frustration, yours or someone else’s. “If it’s not your emotion, then you can let it go, simply by stating to yourself: This isn’t mine. I don’t have to take this on.” The moment you catch yourself feeling emotions that aren’t yours, raise your awareness of what’s happening within you – do you tense up?

Protect yourself from other people’s stuff. Remove yourself from the situation, whether it be temporary or long-term. Temporary looks like taking a little bit of time away from the person to get back to your center. Long-term may look like making the decision not to spend time with people who consistently drain your energy or want you to feel what they feel. Depending on your relationship with the person, this process may not be so easy, so be patient with the process. Don’t let other people’s frustration become your frustration. 

Tell Yourself the Truth First

In Cortney S. Warren’s book, Lies We Tell Ourselves: The Psychology of Self-Deception, she says, ““Self-deception comes from not having enough psychological strength to admit the truth and deal with the consequences that will follow when the truth is acknowledged.” She also says, “The more we lie to ourselves about how we are contributing to our problems, the more harm we will cause to ourselves and our relationships because we will blame others for undesirable aspects of our lives instead of taking responsibility for our role.”

When you lie to yourself:

• It can cause problems in your relationships
• It could lead to you making poor decisions
• It may prevent you from reaching your full potential
• You won’t know yourself as well as you should

Understanding the point where self-deception starts is important because this will help you learn how to stop lying to yourself.  Truth be told (no pun intended) You can never truly be honest with others if you aren’t first honest with yourself.

There’s a quote that says, “Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”

 

Just Leave it Alone

To leave alone means to refrain from annoying or interfering with

• Focus on what you can control.
• Embrace a growth mindset. To embrace a growth mindset, think of the word “yet” It hasn’t happened yet. You aren’t there yet. The power of Yet.  
• Journal to release all the things that are consuming your mind.
• Celebrate small wins.
• Lay aside your expectations.

Leave it alone! Trust the process